it’s not the same.
Parenting to me is one of the toughest, most rewarding jobs that God saw fit to gift me. Since I started way earlier than most, I have learned a lot the hard way. I don’t recommend being a teen mom, but God has been gracious every step of the journey.
Not only was I a young mom, but I was also one of the first in my graduating class to have a child. And I have had to fight to stay ahead, every single day. Many people looked down on me. Even my own parents assumed that I had ended or, at the very least, I had limited any possibility of future success. But I wasn’t going to give up. I was determined it would not be an end to my future, but a chance to impact and influence others.
Growing up alongside my child, living moment to moment felt simpler and easier than planning ahead and facing hard challenges. Often, I would go along with whatever punches were delivered. Though I had a very limited support system, I had a determined attitude to figure out parenting at all costs.
Now that we are both adults, and I have given birth to a 2nd child with a 14-year gap, I see myself changing my momming approach. It’s still hard, but I face it differently. One, because I have more resources, and two, because of my increased maturity. I have a better outlook on each day, and I know that I can trust God. That makes a huge difference!
A current challenge comes to mind, a feeling of guilt knowing the upbringing of my kids has been incredibly different. In the last few months, both kiddos had birthdays, the oldest 22, and the baby 8. For the baby, we created a plan to have a day trip a few cities over, rented a hotel, and visited a theme park. We brought along grandma and an extra friend. My goal was to make the most of the day, and I do believe we did just that. Because of this, I covered the cost of meals and met as many add-on requests as possible. She had a wonderful day.
Fast forward to last month, for the birthday celebration of my oldest, we ended up grabbing dinner at their favorite restaurant, grandma attended, and a new wallet was ordered online. I am not aware if either compared notes with the other, but in my mom heart, I realize life is just not the same for both kids. I can strive to do more, but they each expect differently, and the simplistic expectations of child number one, allows me to take a simpler approach. I’m grateful for this gift, but it challenges me at times.
I went on to finish high school, college, and even a master’s degree. I have had some wonderful job opportunities, but life is more than just career success. My parenting has been shaped by my relationship with God, but each child has shaped me as an individual as well. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be their mom, and I’m still determined to be successful in life. That means today, and tomorrow, and the next day, I have to trust God to help me be the best parent I can be.
