that’s a personal question

My husband is Santa. I mean, the real deal. He works for an organization that offers photos for special events, and he is the man in the red suit. He's pretty awesome at listening to gift requests and reminding kids that mom and dad always have to approve the list Santa is given. He is fantastic at setting expectations and reminding kids to leave carrots out for the reindeer. But there is an important part of his job that few people notice. Sometimes a child will come in to see him and say, "you're not real." Isaac winks quickly and asks the child to come close so he can talk with them quietly. He is excellent at helping the child understand that sometimes make-believe is fun and that nobody likes it when someone spoils the fun for small children. He's so gentle with his words, and he usually ends with some kind of agreement that there is a duty for big kids to help younger kids have fun. Rarely do his words fail, and I'm amazed as large family photo shoots typically end with the big kid giving Santa a high-five at the end. Of course, the exchange is a candy cane that can't hurt the motivation.

It reminds me that parents have an essential job - to set their kids up for appropriate conversations with others. If you tell your kids something that other parents need to talk to their kids about, help your child know that this is a personal question. These can be simple things, like "Is Santa Real?" or "Where do babies come from?" or even "Why do you take that medicine?" Kids need to be taught that personal conversations stay in your home.

Additionally, they need to know that there are some questions we don't ask. These conversations should be had very early on. Though you can never be fully prepared when an embarrassing moment arises, here are a few questions to teach your kids not to ask:

"How old are you?" asked to any adult.

"Are you pregnant?" to anyone who is overweight can be touchy.

"Why do you look ugly?"

"Why are you so slow?"

Conscientious kids are lovely to be around, but it's also important not to stifle their questions and curiosity. On the way home, ask questions that allow them to open up to you, like:

"Did you enjoy meeting ___ today?"

"Was there anything you liked or didn't like about our time today?"

"Do you ever have questions you want to ask, but you know you should wait?"