what do you think?
Has your child ever stumped you with a question? You know the kind… "Daddy, where do babies come from?" or "Why do grownups say bad words?" If you haven't had kid-tested parent-challenged questions yet, you will. You may think the older they get, the harder they will be, but that's not always true. The more caught off guard you are, the harder they will be. There is wisdom in thinking ahead. If your friend's kids are asking questions, find out how they responded, and be prepared for the moment it's your turn. But making a set of rules about conversations early is a good rule of thumb.
Here are 5 rules we have at our house:
Hard Parenting Question Parenting Rule #5
If our child asks about sex, we want to be honest with them. We would rather they ask us than their friends. If somebody else's child asks about sex, we encourage them to talk to their own parents first.
Hard Parenting Question Parenting Rule #4
If a child asks about money, we will always refer them to a lifestyle with little or no debt.
Hard Parenting Question Parenting Rule #3
If a child asks about gossip, we will call it gossip and help them sort through what is essential or dangerous in the conversation and help them not to spread incorrect or hurtful information. We always err on the side of "don't talk about other people."
There are two rules that are more important than the others:
Hard Parenting Question Parenting Rule #2
Say, "I don't know if I don't know."
We use search engines to find some answers, the Bible for others, and ask appropriate people if we don't know the answer. The internet can be very misleading or offer completely incorrect information, so we always caution the kids when their first instinct is to ask Google. If we come to a place where we need a few days to find the answer, we acknowledge the need to find out and give a due date. "I don't know, but I will get back to you by Friday at bedtime. We can talk again then."
Hard Parenting Question Rule #1
Ask "What do you think?"
If a child asks a question that seems outside their age-appropriate topic range, we have learned to ask, "well, that's an interesting question….what do you think the answer is?" This question doesn't open our kids up to interpret the truth in any way they desire, but it helps us understand where they are coming from. We often get the back story and typically find out that another child has asked the same question and our child is looking for the answer. We often have to give them an answer they can take back to their friends – so be aware of the need to explore that possibility.
