raising connected adults

Have you ever deeply pondered the role of a parent? What qualifies you to be a parent? Every species on earth reproduces, but raising children is not the same across the spectrum. Human children have far different experiences. The pressure to succeed as a kid is felt by the parent and often influences the parent’s decision making. The pressure for the parent to succeed is typically felt by the kids, and often influences their childhood experiences. The human family unit works to carry the weight of the world – for the long-haul, and that makes them unique.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a mother that said “I can’t wait to kick my kids out of our home and never see them again.” Never have I met a father that desired to make life as difficult as possible for the kids. But rarely have a met a teenager that believed those to be true. Why do our kids believe we are trying to make life harder for them? Why do they believe we want them to get out of the house and move on? I believe the answer is messaging.

What message do you send your kids in your body language, in your controlling moments, in your worst, and in your best? Do you consistently help your kids see that adulthood is going to be hard but you will always be a sounding board of wisdom for their pressurized moments in life? Do you work to help your kids in with tough learning experiences without bailing them out? Ask your kids today, what will make us be friends when you’re an adult? What will help you respect me more? If the moment is right, offer the answers to them in return. What will your child need to do to be respected by you as an adult? Will you desire friendship? What other hopes and dreams do you have of your children as adults? Can you share them with others?